


Down The Rabbit Hole

by silvermax



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Backstory, Drug Addiction, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermax/pseuds/silvermax
Summary: Jesse, at fifteen, is a freewheeling party boy who frequently angers his parents. When he gets introduced to meth, their lives change forever.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my take on what Jesse's teen years were like. He's probably my favorite character on the show, and I loved delving into his backstory.

It was May 2000, and a particularly hot day. Jesse stared at the clock while his geometry teacher droned on about angles or whatever the fuck. He knew he was just barely passing this class, but he hated it anyway, so what did it matter? He could easily have cut school today, but if he skipped any more days, the school would call his parents, and he did _not_ need a lecture from them.

The minute hand was just inches away from the 12, which would signal the end of the day. No more stewing in this stuffy classroom. _Would it kill Mr. Andrews to turn on the AC? Jesus....._

He looked around at the other students taking notes. _Oh my God. Are they_ _actually_ listening _to this bullshit?_ _Fucking chumps._ Whatever. He only had one more week. One more week, and he wouldn't have to deal with these people until August. 

The minute hand hit 12, and the bell rang. Mr. Andrews cleared his throat. "Alright, the final exam is next week, so I advise that you study, especially the concepts from chapter 9. Have a good weekend, everyone, and good luck."

Jesse got up, grabbed his things, and left the room. _Good riddance._ He raced down the stairs, just wanting to get the hell out. It was much cooler downstairs. By now, the hallway was swarming with students leaving for the weekend. "Hey! Jesse!"

He turned around. The speaker had dark brown hair, and she was wearing a black tank top and jean shorts. "Oh, hey, Marisol!"

Marisol walked up to him and slapped him on the back. "What's up, man?"

"Eh, not much. The usual."

Soon, they were joined by Badger. "You guys free tonight?" he asked.

Jesse grinned. "Yeah, why? What you got planned?"

"My folks are out, so I'm gonna throw a _party_!"

"Sweet," said Marisol. "Who else will be there?"

"The whole crew! And my cousin said he was gonna buy us beer."

"I can bring weed," offered Jesse.

 _"Hell,_ yeah!" He laughed to himself. "Oh, man, this is gonna be _awesome_!"

That afternoon, Jesse's report card came in the mail. As he expected, it was mostly C's. He already knew his parents were going to harp on him about it, so, to delay the lecture he knew was coming, he stuffed it in his drawer.

That evening, after eating dinner with his family, he announced that he was going up to his room. His mother sighed. "Jesse, you never spend any time with us."

"I _do_. You're just too busy with your _favorite_ kid to _notice_." He gestured to his little brother.

"Jesse...."

"I'm going."

Once in his room, he got his weed stash from his closet, opened the window, and shimmied out. He'd done this many times before. Badger's house wasn't far, maybe about a ten-minute walk from his own.

When he arrived, there weren't a whole lot of people there yet, just Marisol, Combo, Emilio, and a guy he didn't recognize. The music was already going, though, at full blast. "Hey, Badger." He held up the bag of weed and shook it a little. 

"Al _right_ , man, I _knew_ you'd come through!" He gave him a big, injury-inducing hug. 

"Who's this guy?" He nodded towards the gaunt stranger in the black beanie.

"One of Combo's guys."

"They call me Skinny Pete," said the stranger.

"Yeah, _skinny's_ right," laughed Jesse. "If there were a windstorm, you'd get knocked the fuck out."

He cracked a small smile. "Oh, so you got _jokes_."

Everybody had some beer, except for Marisol. "Ew," she said.

"What, this isn't good enough for you?" said Jesse.

"I'm more of a vodka girl. And the rest of you can do better, really." She walked into the kitchen to get her drink of choice.

" _No_ , that's my _mom_ 's! She's gonna notice!" whined Badger.

She rolled her eyes. "I'll just fill the empty part with water. I do that with my mom _all_ the time, and she never notices."

As the night went on, more guests came in. Friends of friends, _girl_ friends of friends. By ten, the living room was crowded with teenagers drinking from red cups and dancing to rap music. Jesse spent his time drinking, smoking weed, mingling with the guests. All in all, he was feeling pretty good.

He and Skinny Pete got to know each other a little better. "So, you in school?" asked Jesse.

"Nah. I dropped out."

"How do you know Combo?"

"We work together."

At one point, Emilio grinned and said, "Why don't we turn this into a _real_ party?"

 _What would_ that _mean?_ "A _real_ party. Okay," said Jesse. "What are we gonna do?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of white, crystalline powder. _Holy shit, is that_ speed? "Wow, Emilio, didn't know you did that stuff!" They'd known each other since fourth _grade_. He just didn't seem like the type.

The other boys watched as he prepared the meth, chopping it up and arranging into lines. Jesse was debating whether to try it. He wasn't even sure what it was. But everybody else seemed to like it, so he snorted it anyway. 

God, that burned _so_ bad. It was like snorting _glass._ This wasn't like anything he'd ever done before.

The feeling it gave him was almost indescribable. It was like there were fireworks going off in his head. He didn't find it _unpleasant,_ per se, but it was.... _weird._ And suddenly, he felt this surge of energy. " _Yeah,_ bitch!" he shouted, standing up on the couch.

He got home at three the next morning, still pretty high. Climbing in through his bedroom window, he hoped his parents wouldn't hear him. Thinking back to the party and the meth, he thought, _I am_ so _doing that again._


	2. Chapter 2

it was July now, and the days were nearing 100 degrees. Jesse was spending less and less time at home, preferring to hang out with his friends and get high. Pot, usually, but if Emilio was there, then he'd do some meth, as well. He could never recreate that first high, but it was still fun. But his parents were starting to ask why he had so many nosebleeds, so he'd have to find a way to cover that up somehow.

"This is the _life_ ," laughed Jesse one afternoon at Emilio's house. He ashed out his joint, then turned to his friend. "Hey, man, you got any of that...." 

Emilio knew what he was talking about. "Yeah." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bag of crystals. It was clearer than he remembered, and it resembled little pieces of glass.

"So.... are we gonna snort it, or....."

He chuckled. "You don't snort _glass_ , Jesse. You either shoot it or smoke it."

"Oh." There was still so much he didn't know. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to use a _needle_....

The two smoked it together that afternoon. This time, it was like a fast track to his brain. The rush kicked in almost immediately. Colors were brighter, sounds sharper. The hours seemed to speed past them. He looked out the window as the effects were starting to die down, and it was pitch-black outside. He knew his parents were going to be pissed if he didn't come home, but he didn't care. "Can I have more?"

"You want _more_?"

" _Please_?"

The other boy rolled his eyes. "What, you think this shit is _free_?"

"I'll pay you back later, man, just give me some."

Jesse was pacing around the living room. "Shouldn't you go _home_ or some shit?" said Emilio. 

"Huh? What time is it?"

"Six."

And sure enough, he looked out the window and saw that the sky was starting to turn pink. Perhaps if he went home now, he could potentially sneak back in without his parents noticing. "Okay, then. Later."

"Later." He shifted a little and scratched his head. "Hey, maybe tomorrow, I'll teach you how to cook it. So you won't have to use _mine_."

"Yeah, sounds like a plan."

When he got home, the sun was up, and the weather was starting to warm up a bit. He shuffled through his window, like always. But when he saw his mother standing in the hallway in front of his room, he stopped dead in his tracks. "Jesse Bruce Pinkman!"

"Mom..."

"You left without saying anything to us, _and_ you broke curfew! Your father and I were worried _sick_ about you! How were we supposed to know you hadn't been kidnapped?"

"It's _fine._ "

"It's _not_ fine!" Then she looked down and, gritting her teeth, said, "Probably out there screwing some girlfriend or doing... who _knows_ what." She looked back up at him. "You're grounded."

"Wh- _Mom_...."

"That's _final_."

He sighed. He knew he couldn't argue his way out of _that_. "For how long?"

"Until we decide!" She started to walk towards the bathroom, then looked over her shoulder. "What is the matter with you, Jesse?"

"What's the matter with _you_?!" But she didn't respond. Frustrated, he pounded the doorway of his bedroom. "Fuck!"


	3. Chapter 3

There wasn't much Jesse could do about being grounded. Because he was home all the time, they were having him babysit Jake. That first day, he rolled his eyes and groaned. "You _couldn't_ have Isabella come over?"

"Well, Jesse, you're fifteen years old. You're perfectly capable of watching your brother for the day," said his mother. Before walking out the door, she turned around and said, "Make sure he eats his vegetables. And don't forget to put him down for a nap at three."

" _Mom...._ " But before he could finish that, she was out the door.

Jesse wouldn't dare admit it, but he didn't mind watching Jake. In fact, he kind of liked it. The kid was quiet and easily entertained, whether it was by some dandelions outside or some crayons and paper. "Look at what I made!" he'd exclaim after finishing up a picture.

"Awesome, buddy! That's a cool....." He tried to decipher what it was he'd drawn. "....dragon?"

"No, it's a rocket ship!" A big grin crossed his face. "When I grow up, I wanna go to _space_!"

"What are you gonna do in space?"

"I'm gonna find an alien and bring it home!"

"Could you draw an alien for me?" He was curious to see what his brother thought aliens looked like.

"Sure." He picked up a green crayon and started drawing, then showed his older brother the finished product. 

"That looks like a lizard!"

"Because it _is_!"

Jesse shook his head and laughed. "You're silly, Jake."

On the third morning of being grounded, he woke up to hear his phone buzzing. Picking it up, he saw a text from Badger. "yo, Jesse, you free tonight?"

He groaned and pounded out a response. "dude, I can't."

"oh, shit, did you get busted or something?"

"yeah" He set his phone down and went to shower. 

He picked up the phone again and saw another text from Badger. "well, np, we can just come to you"

"um.... _when_? my little brother's in the house"

"is 5 ok?" He quickly added, "we're not gonna do anything around him, dw"

He thought about that. His parents would be home at around seven, he figured. So they'd have an hour and a half max to hang around, unnoticed. "ok that's fine just be out by 6:30"

"ok cool", was the response.

Throughout the day, Jesse managed to be the perfect, agreeable older brother for Jake. Tolerating his nearly incomprehensible ramblings, letting him eat whatever he wanted (which didn't include vegetables, but hey, their mother didn't have to know), reading him a book- or three- before putting him down for his nap. _Maybe if I get on his good side, he won't tell Mom and Dad that my friends came over._

At five, his friends arrived. Badger brought vodka, procured, as always, by his cousin. Marisol had blue streaks in her hair now. Each person slapped him five, and Badger gave him his usual tight hug. "What's up, man?" he laughed.

Still a little wary of his brother, Jesse looked over his shoulder, then said, his voice low, "Why don't we go out in the back? I don't want Jake hearing us."

"Sure thing, man."

In the backyard, they'd turned the radio on in the garage. Combo, Badger, and Skinny Pete were (very badly) playing basketball while the rest of the group was sitting in the garage, drinking. It had cooled down some from the day, but it was still much too hot to really do anything. "So, who's thinking about school?" laughed Marisol.

Upon hearing this, everybody else groaned. The half of the group that had been horsing around stopped all of a sudden. "Man, _fuck_ school," said Combo.

"I know, right?" groaned Jesse. His parents had been getting on him lately about SAT prep, and college, and all that. He was _not_ looking forward to when the year started. 

"Your parents getting on your ass about it?" she asked.

"Yeah. No surprise _there_."

"Mine are, too."

 _You're in advanced math. You're better than I am at this shit._ "Well, that's different. You're smart."

Just then, he heard Badger say, "Oh, _hey_ , Jake...."

 _Fuck._ "He's.... here?" He looked ahead, and sure enough, there was his brother. Whatever had been occupying him in his room had not been sufficient to distract him.

"Awww," said Marisol. "Hi, there, little buddy!"

She was good with little kids. That was because, to her grown siblings, she _was_ a little kid. "Mari!" shouted the little boy, running towards her.

He looked up at her, and all of a sudden, his face got serious. "Why's your hair different?"

"I got it colored. Isn't it pretty?"

"Hmmm.... _m_ _aybe_?"

" _Ouch,_ " she chuckled. " _Okay_. So it's like _that_."

Suddenly painfully aware of what would happen if Jake told their parents about this, Jesse tried to prevent this. "Hey, Jake? Can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Good. So if Mom and Dad ask what you did today, don't tell them you saw all the big people here. Okay? Can you do that for me?"

"Sure."

While the other kids were there, Jesse couldn't help but notice that Emilio seemed... _different._ He wasn't really talking to anybody, and he seemed angry, for some reason. "Hey, Emilio, you good, man?"

"Yeah." He took a sip from his cup.

Hmm.... he still didn't _look_ too happy. Not wanting to press further, he decided to change the subject. "So. You said you were gonna teach me to cook?"

"Yeah, I did." His expression smoothed out a little, which was a relief. "If you can sneak out or something, that offer's still on the table."

"Sweet." In the last few days, he realized he'd been missing that high. To have it at his own disposal.... 

He managed to shoo everyone out at six-thirty. Taking the vodka bottle and the cups, he stashed them deep into the gray recycling bin, deep enough that nobody would see when they went to take the trash out. His parents arrived home at seven, as expected. Hearing the key turn in the door, his heart pounded. _Hope Jake doesn't rat me out._ Turning to his brother, he put a finger to his lips.


End file.
